1) Get Skinny
2) Grow some authentic Eurotrash hair
3) Learn to speak passible French^a

The Jon Stewart Phase

4) Wow her with some moderate artistic talent
5) Beguile with winsome personality and/or sardonic wit
6) Three Words: Comedy Open Mic^b

The Leonard Cohen Phase

7) The forlorn love song^c
8) The sprawling love letter that you regret years down the road^d
9) The Big Gesture – ???
10) The Agony of Irrational Expectations going unrealized!

Nine is non-listable, because it’s entirely situational. Sorry, but I can’t do all the thinking for you.

Notes:
^a Enough to whisper sweet nothings. It helps if she’s drunk.
^b It helps if you’re both drunk.
^c Best performed live, so no trace exists upon completion. Under no circumstances should it be performed on an answering machine. Helps to be drunk.
^d Best done when trying not to fall out of your chair because of the crushing mix of despair and alcohol.